Friday, September 28, 2012

connecting the dots

people as seeds
plants as people
female praying mantis eats the male after mating
election fever
is dialogue possible?
trek to vallejo for filipino food
cooking for a crowd
prowling her blog
white people are weird
fall harvest
pick your own
wars elsewhere
wars here
student stupor
mindless tv
dreams a lot
dreams of you
dreams of brad pitt
shaman conference
he makes noise

Thursday, September 13, 2012

a moral dilemma

a caregiver told me today that she may have witnessed a "mercy killing." she was caring for an elderly man whose daughter and granddaughter came to visit regularly. one day she was told to leave the room so she went to another room where there was a monitor to the old man's room. she was surprised to see that the old man seemed to be struggling as he was force-fed by his daughter. shortly thereafter, the old man died. the caregiver later found vials of vicodine, atavan, morphine next to his bed. she didn't tell the daughter that she saw what happened.

she was troubled by this. she told me that she was offered the job to continue working for the family but she didn't accept the offer even though she is desperate to find a job. she just didn't feel right about working for the family.

as the old man was taken away by the funeral people, she said she sprinkled holy water and said her prayers as she followed the body as it was taken out of the house.

i listened to her story and i saw how pained she was by this. what do we do in the face of this moral dilemma? if what she saw is what it was, then it is illegal in California. does she have a responsibility to report it if she is not sure what the facts are? does she have a legal responsibility to report? and if she reports it, does it put her at risk? this is a wealthy family with resources; she is a caregiver...she knows there would be repercussions she can't handle.

i am saddened because i am reminded once again of the way this culture deals with its elderly and infirm and with Death.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Dreaming Big at 60

I am 60 and I am daring to dream big!! Here's my birthday wish list! Is the universe listening?

1. Benefactors gift the Center for Babaylan Studies so we can fund our many projects including the 2013 Conference/Gathering. Actually, I'd settle for a volunteer who is willing to do fundraising or development work.; a grantwriter.
2.  Obama gets re-elected.
3. Fareed Zakaria returns to CNN and talks about The Post-American World
4. Justice for Julian Manda, the young Subanen culture bearer who was murdered during anti-mining protest.
5. A family reunion by the end of 2012.
6. Volunteers who can help harvest and process our apples and pears.
7. A catered birthday dinner by a Filipino chef.
8. A celebration with my friends who are also Virgo and Leos.
9. Proposition 30 passes in November; saves CSU from severe cuts.
10. A good year for Noah and his parents.
11. A new pair of shoes that doesn't hurt my knees.
12. A regular housecleaner.
13. More time to work in the winter garden
14. Wean from toxic materials in household cleaners
15. Learn how to make essential oils
16. Get handwritten letters in the mail
17. Spend less time on Facebook
18. Bill McKibben appears on more media to talk about global climate change
19. Improve my local involvement in the community
20. Offer space in my home to retreatants
21. More time to mentor
22. Go to the ocean more often
23. Be more kind
24. Get out of Wall Street and invest locally.
25. Wear more color
26. More time to walk
27. Someone finds this post and shares it widely.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

To be seen and heard...

(I'm posting this here so it doesn't get lost in my inbox. This friend is 1/4 Filipino and he was told that he is white and not Filipino while he was growing up. But his Lola lived with them and she had such a big influence in his life. He lived this contradiction and it troubled him. His search for an answer led to our correspondence and meeting).

Dear Leny , 

It is with a heart full of gratitude that I write you to thank you for your hospitality . It was a great blessing for me to meet you , share my stories and hear your wisdom .Today in my therapy session I realized why I had to wait to write you a thank you note . When I was reflecting on my visit with you and how affirming and healing your conversation was for me , my therapist asked me if I wanted to go to you for therapy , given that you are Filipina and that you understand the Filipino experience from the inside . I said that you weren't a therapist and that I went to you for other reasons , above all for your spiritual insights . And then I realized that I went to you for your blessing , and that the time with you, sharing a meal , a conversation , and meeting your husband was a blessing . And then I spoke of how your teaching about the indigenous Filipino spirit in the depths of my psyche made so many things clear for me about my family and my self . And in saying that , I had the insight that my deep SELF , the part of my psyche that is Filipino sought you out . Because in our indigenous Filipino tradition , before the Spanish came , the spiritual leaders and healers were women - the Babaylan . And you are the one who is calling forth consciously the Babaylan spirit right here in this part of the world where I live !  I am in awe that the spirit in me led me to your books and to you for healing .

Thank you - gracias - salamat - Diyos mabalos !